I WNAT TO FORGET TOTALLY HER WHO IS NOW NOT FRIEND/LOVER TO ME? BUT HOW?

we were colluge in office i use to be normal friend to her but she use to be effectionative with me she use to tell me weather you will be without me, you have a heart or not, i want your heart forever but i thought she is telling just as good friend.and to clearify i just indirectly said you are close to my heart. but she said i never accepted this from u i m sorry. i thought i m might said wrongly i said just as a close friend dont think bad if you think god is wriiten our friendship is this much only are what. but i called and said i m sorry. she also said let as be freind. i said ok but from that day she did not call are message me . i thought she might taken matter searously. i said as friend only i said that i m sorry sorry i messaged this one day to day for two weeks at last she messaged i m sorry to say this i m not interested to talk with you if you really think me as freind dont talk call me or message me.this is one year back happen still she did call or message me. i messaged her her two three message after this and stoped what is the problem i dont no. i thought she might got better person than me so i said goobye to you and friendship. because if i see anywere with her boy friend i should be in safer side that i thought only as a friend but still i m thinking of her im not confidence or postive thinker any more i was happy and confidence before seeing her. she only speaks about money and stauts when ever she speaks withme. ok good but what she said not interested to speak withme that word hurts me a lot i behaved as a gentel man with her but what she done hurts me a lot.if i m happy for two weeks i get depressed for the rest of the weeks what to do. i know she will be happy as she god wealthy,educated person in her life. i dont want go like her searching for a girls.how she gone searching for guy.my thoughts and all girls should come seeing the goodnes of the heart by themselves.i want to be postive confidence how i was before what shall i do. if i see her with her boy friend closely.if i see her i get fear. (im 26yr in normal compy.she is 25yr in BPO)weather i will return to normal.pls help me with your positive answer and practical answers. awaiting for your answer sincearly. thank you.